Aunt refuses to buy 13-year-old nephew a birthday present because he didn't acknowledge her birthday: 'He didn’t tell me happy birthday or acknowledge me in any sweet way'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 25, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's pretty fair to treat others and give them the same consideration that they have given you, when it comes to being thoughtful and celebrating important milestones and events, you can't expect someone to celebrate things for you that you ignored for them.

Still, there are things that are different between the expectations in the behavior of a child and a grown adult and picking a fight with your 13-year-old nephew about his birthday. Kids generally aren't very good about remembering and celebrating the birthdays and events of their own parents without being expressly reminded, and I don't think I've ever really got my aunts and uncles' birthday presents out of the blue.

We had teachers in school who liked to pretend that they were one of the kids and pick fights with the students in a vain effort to relive their glory days, and even as a teen, it was easy to see how immature and inappropriate that was. We expect different things from teens than we do from adults; something to do with a fully formed brain and frontal cortex should result in better and more mature behavior.

This could have been a good life lesson for the kid if delivered in a measured way but delivered in the way and with the intentionality that this was it just makes the aunt seem really immature and guilty of all of the things she has accused her nephew of being.

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  • 01

    "He never said happy birthday to me, his only aunt and that definitely hurt and spoke volumes to me about how little he seems to care about me. "

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    via Andrej Lišakov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for not getting my nephew a birthday gift?"

    My nephew turned 13 today and after his birthday party when I was saying goodnight, he asked me if I got him anything for his birthday, which got me thinking about why I didn't and if I'm possibly in the wrong here. For context, we live together and while I love sharing a home with my sister and brother in law, we have all discussed how my nephew's temperament, blatant disrespect and behavior is the only thing that causes. tension and isn't harmonious. I love him to death, I pick him up from sch
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  • 03
    For my own birthday in December which was literally a celebration from midnight-midnight in my family's true fashion, he didn't tell me happy birthday or acknowledge me in any sweet way once- and became angry and even more hostile once his parents brought this up. He never said happy birthday to me, his only aunt and that definitely hurt and spoke volumes to me about how little he seems to care about me. Yes, he's a child and teenagers can be distant and r de at times but every child/teenager in
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  • 04
    All he asked for on his birthday was money, and he got over $400 today alone- I'm happy for him, but I truly did not want to contribute to his birthday aside from the genuine moments of celebration, decorating for his surprise party and the love I gave him. I'm sure it was hurtful and alarming that I didn't give him anything but my time, affection and service setting up his party, but that's more than I even felt I could give all things considered.
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  • 05
    My impression, knowing him to the capacity that I do raising him with my own children these last 13 years, is that while he is hilarious, charismatic and charming, his overwhelming aura has become very entitled, selfish, careless, hostile and arrogant. It's a hard thing to say about a child, but it's real and his parents share the same feelings- we talk about it almost daily. I just want to know- am I the a hole here, or is gift giving (money handouts. in this case) as a very present live-in aun
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  • 06
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: I may be the a hole because I didn't buy my nephew a birthday gift, and he implied that I'm an a hole because he couldn't believe I didn't.
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    via Izzy Park blue_jean
  • 08
    Kameleon2010 NTA He lives with you, and shows no appreciation for all you do. Ask him if he got you anything for your birthday, then explain how energy gets returned. You put no energy into other people, they eventually don't put energy back in
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  • 09
    Unfair_Finger5531 YTA. He's 13, and you are talking about his personality as if he's 45. He's an adolescent boy. And the fact that you and his parents discuss how he is literally every day is one probably one reason he's like this. Imagine being a child living with a bunch of adults who can't stop talking about how much you s k as a human being. You didn't get him a gift because you wanted to cause him pain. You are the a hole. Certifiable.
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  • 10
    IV-DrPepper-STAT You are so angry a 12 year old boy didn't wish you happy birthday that you'll hold that grudge for a fiscal quarter and not give the child a birthday gift. YTA. Pretty clear that entitlement runs in his veins
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  • 11
    unsafeideas He never said happy birthday to me, his only aunt and that definitely hurt and spoke volumes to me about how little he seems to care about me. This is ridiculous. And triply so when against 13 years old. Frankly, this is emotionally manipulative way to frame things between adults, but there it is whatever. Telling 13 years old that he should acknowledge birthday, super appropriate. Likewise having normal complaint. Blowing it into such a importance makes you YTA.
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  • 12
    serioussparkles My god these comments, he was TWELVE in December. What 12 year old can just go buy a gift for an adult? Is this boy even in therapy? If you've helped raise him for 13 years, why is he such an a h_le? Either way, HE WAS 12 during your birthday, grow up.
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  • 13
    Single_Cancel_4873 YTA You complain about his behavior with his parents. Is anything being done to ask the child, why he is acting this way? Is it being addressed? The child is 13 and going through puberty, which can be a confusing time overall. You seem to be holding a grudge. My son went through a phase at that age. Perhaps therapy would help.
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family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita teenager AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild family feud parenting family reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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